Kaiden is 3!

This is probably the most random interview ever. Maybe next year he'll give me answers that make sense? I kind of doubt it. He's unique like that. I can't believe my baby is 3!

1. What's your name?

Bubby

2. How Old are you?

Kaiden. I Kaiden. Ladies.

3. What makes you happy?

Your 'puter. Mommy! I need my puter!

4. What do you like to do with josiah?

Play bullet!

5. What is your favorite animal?

my horsey

6. What do you like to eat?

dinner! a doughnut.

7. What is you like to play?

play a little fish.

8. What is your favorite tv show?

rescue bots

9. What is your favorite color?

umm. my foots.

10. What is your favorite song?

                                                            Bubby's sword

11. Who is your best friend?

my lightning queen pillow

12. What do you like to do with daddy?

my blue bear

13. What do you like to do with mommy?

play. and fight

14. What do you like to do outside?

play with my big boy.

15. What is your favorite game?

play with my rescue bots

16. Who is your favorite hero?

he flies outside. Piderman

17. What is your favorite toy?

my cake. my cake toy.

18. What is your favorite Cereal?

my marnmallow… my rescue bot punched me in my mouth.

19. What do you want to be when you grow up?

.grow up a cat.

20. What's your favorite day?

my hat. I will play with bullet tomorrow.

Josiah's Birthday Interview - Age 4

1. What's your name

Siah!

2. How Old are you?

3? … 4

3. What makes you happy?

*smiles* Kaiden. Kaiden make me happy. Hey, Kaiden do you make me happy? "no!" mommy, kaiden didn't make me happy!

4. What do you like to do with kaiden?

He loves me. "I don't love you!" mommy, kaiden didn't love me!

5. What is your favorite animal?

horse

6. What do you like to eat?

marshmallows cereal

7. What is your favorite thing to do?

nose ?

8. What is your favorite tv show?

real race cars

9. What is your favorite color?

blue

10. What is your favorite song?

*Sings random words*

11. Who is your best friend?

daddy is my fren.

12. What do you like to do with daddy?

daddy likes to fight me.

13. What do you like to do with mommy?

I love you.

14. What do you like to do outside?

play bikes

15. What is your favorite game?

a basketball game

16. Who is your favorite hero?

superman

17. What is your favorite toy?

rescue bot

18. What is your favorite Cereal?

marshmallow

19. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I want to grow up like a baby.

20. What's your favorite day?

uhhh party rocking.   ?

He refused to put pants on. 

To my little brother

Half a year later.

 How has it already been 6 months?!

It doesn't feel like it's been that long. 

It's still hard to believe I can't see you again.  

We can't make new memories with you. 

None of us will ever be the same. 

You changed our lives forever that tuesday. Tuesday, October 23, 2012. 

That day is forever seared into my memories. 

Today's weather, reminds me of that day. Cold and grey. Drizzly. Gross.

Sometimes I wish I could forget it. But it's still clear in my mind. 

I know that I'll never understand why. I know I couldn't have done anything different. 

But I wish I had known you were going to do that. 

So I could spend more time with you that last day. 

Taken some better pictures of you. 

I just wish I had a chance to talk to you before. 

I wish I could comfort you. 

Hug you. 

Love you.

I'll always miss you.

Catch up!

Well, it's been quite awhile since I wrote. 

Things have been... up and down lately.

My husband got a job that was about an hour away from where we were living. 

We had to move. I hate moving. I love it, but hate it. 

I like the change. But I miss what I'm leaving. Not to mention the packing and unpacking.

Craziness! 

We had a few set backs but we're moved in. Not all the way unpacked though. 

Our house is tiny and I don't love it, so I've been procrastinating. 

BUT I realized I've had the wrong attitude about it and I'm coming around. 

I can't keep telling myself that it's only for a year or else I'll never make it a home. 

Even if it's for a year, that is a year of memories I can't get back. 

Even if this is only a small chapter until the next, big one, it's still a chapter. 

I don't want my boys to look back and remember this as just a house we stayed in for a time.

I want it to be a home where we had good memories. Even if its just a years worth. 

You never know when you won't be able to make new memories. 

Here's a few memories we've already made here;

We had to buy a new stove! It's the first one I've owned. The boys got to help put it together. :)

We had a REALLY nice day and the boys got to enjoy the water hose. 

Kenneth made a cake for my birthday! And it tasted pretty good! 

Daddy left his shaving cream out... this wasn't even all of it.

Our backyard has LOTS of worms to catch so we can go fishing!

I know this post was boring, but I just need to catch you all up real quick.

The six month mark of my brother's death is coming up on the 23rd. 

I can't believe it's been 6 months.

Miss you, Dolly.

Hunting Dinosaurs

Source

 Tonight is one of those nights that I enjoy playing with my kids. Some nights they just fight the whole time or disobey me every 5 minutes. But tonight we had a blast. 

 My husband is working evenings this week. After a few nights of it, the boys and I start getting frustrated with each other. 

 Sometimes I get so caught up in other things that don't matter. Like facebook or looking at recipes pinterest. Anything to distract myself. Sometimes I get frustrated when they try to interrupt. Now Josiah grabs my faces and says, "Mommy, look at me. I need to talk to you." It really stings when he has to get my attention because I don't pay attention to him from the start. Sometimes I block them out because  I get tired of having to stop their brawls or their mess making. I'll just have them help clean it up when its done. If they hurt themselves fighting, maybe they'll learn from it? 

 But there are lots of times where they ask me to play and I do. We play cars or racing or wrestling. Jo is getting a little too rough, so I try to hold him off til Daddy is home to wrestle. 

Tonight they found flashlights and shut off all the lights. When I asked what they were doing, Josiah was immediately offended. He told me "SHHH, mommy! What's that? Find the dinosaurs!" So we walked through all the rooms and looked under all our toys and blankets. But all we could find were invisible sleeping spiders! Josiah wouldn't let me squish them. And then a dinosaur got me and so Josiah had to shoot me. But when they sat on me I came back to life. Then I cooked them into some brother stew. But they said they tasted like poop, so I didn't eat them. Then we played "hide and go scare". Which is basically where I hide in the dark and they come find me and I scare them. They love it! Now that Jo is older, he hides too. Kaiden tries to hide but... its ALWAYS under the table. Every. Time. Josiah is a good big brother though, and does a really good fake scream and acts like Kaid really scared him. 

 The last few days they have been cracking me up. Josiah has decided he's a comedian. Everything he says is followed by, "That was funny, huh?" and then a chuckle. 

 He told me he wanted to go swimming yesterday. After I explained it was too cold and we could go when it was warm, he said "I have a jacket, Ma!". His logic is fool proof. 

They have provided more laughs for me this week than a real comedian would have. 

My comedian with his bath hair <3

Just a couple of silly geese. :)

New Year's Resolutions?

Oh hello blog. Yes, I'm still here. I feel like I haven't made a real post in awhile. 

So let me tell you about my New Year's Resolutions! 

I didn't make any.

I feel like people make them all the time and never keep them. 

If at any point in the year, I feel like I should make a change to myself, my house, or whatever, I will do it at that point. I don't need a New Year's Resolution to do it. 

But then I remembered seeing people posting pictures and calling it Project 365 or other things that are similar. So I decided to look into it. Basically, its taking a picture a day. Some people take pictures of certain things. Some people take a picture of whatever they feel like. 

And people take them for different reasons. 

I want to do it so I can look back at the end of the year and see how life has changed. Doing my end of the year posts (Here & here) made me realize that I didn't have as many pictures as I would like. The kids grow so fast and life changes so quickly that I wish I had taken more. 

Thats my main goal with this. 

Also, I hope to start thinking outside the box more and become more creative with my photography. I found a link on Pinterest (Jan Photoaday) that has some daily photo prompts that I've been doing. Its pretty fun and forces you to be a little more creative. Otherwise I'd probably just end up with 365 pictures of my kids. There is nothing wrong with that, but to their dismay, the world doesn't revolve around them. 

I signed up with Peas and Carrots and joined a facebook group to share my pictures with others and to help stay motivated. It's only day 6 and I can feel my motivation slipping. It's just annoying to have to upload them every day. I might end up taking a picture every day and only uploading weekly. I just don't want to get too far behind. I think the photo prompt really helps me not get bored with it. 

Anyway, I think its a fun idea. If you want to see how I'm doing you can check in on me here or watch my facebook album But only if you're my friend. ;)

Hope everyone had great New Years! 

Did you make any resolutions? Share with me!

Happy 2013!

The End of 2012!

Let's see... In July

We started potty training the boys. Only Josiah has lasted. 

Not much else happened. We played a lot. 

August

Jo started Cubbies! This is his hair for Crazy Hair Night at Awana

The boys got to ride in my mom's new Mustang! They loved it of course.

We went camping with Aunt Katie and Uncle Michael.
Daddy started the Police Academy right after!

September

The boys got into mommy's make up. Lipstick makes a better eyebrow pencil.

First pony ride @ Harvest Fellowship Church

October. ...Not the best month.

The boys and their first pumpkin!

I convinced my family to all go the pumpkin patch for the boys. 

I'm so glad they all came. It was our last time all together.

That night we took the boys to their first circus! mine too.
 They enjoyed it, but since it was so late, we had to leave early. :(

The next day, we celebrated my niece's 2nd birthday!! Such a pretty girl. 

A few days later, a date I'll never forget, October 23rd 2012, my little brother committed suicide.
Worst day ever. 

November.

My uncle tom passed away.

We decorated for Christmas early

Got my hair cut and colored!

Kaiden got his 1st haircut

Got a tattoo in memory of my brother.

December

I don't have as many pictures yet. They are all still on my camera.

Kaiden got his first bloody lip.

My husband graduated from the Police Academy & got a job in a jail.

 Hopefully he'll be out on the road in a year or so!

two of my sisters-in-law had babies this month. They are so adorable and I love to hold them. :)

Another sister-in-law announced that she is going to be having a baby in August! Two of my friends are due around the same time as well. Babies are so exciting! 

no more for us right now though. ;)

On December 14th there was a terrible shooting in Connecticut. 26 people died. 20 of them were kids. It was a terrible day. I couldn't even imagine their pain. Sending their kids to school like any other day. presents waiting under the tree for kids who will never open them. It's just another reminder to never take life or time for granted. Spend as much time loving as you can.

On the 21st, we survived the end of the world. Again. ;)

We celebrated christmas at my in-laws and my moms. It was actually a good day. It marked the 9 week anniversary of my brother's death. But the day was better than I expected.

My sister wrote this poem I want to share with you and then this post will be finished!

It’s hard to smile on Christmas Eve
At all the presents under the tree.
When your baby face is all I see
Staring right back at me.

Remembering the look on your face
Next to grandpa’s fireplace
Time will never begin to erase
The love and joy shared in that place.

15 Christmases all flew by
The same as the days in your life.
And as I think I start to cry
Goodbye to the joy in your eyes

Holidays will never be the same
Because of the tragedy we became
All of our tears become like rain
Bubby, I’m sorry for all of your pain

I’m sorry for the tears you cried
I’m sorry for all the times I lied
I’m sorry I could never see
Just how much you needed me.

And most of all I’m sorry you’re gone
I’ll remember, Bubby. From now on.