To my little brother

Half a year later.

 How has it already been 6 months?!

It doesn't feel like it's been that long. 

It's still hard to believe I can't see you again.  

We can't make new memories with you. 

None of us will ever be the same. 

You changed our lives forever that tuesday. Tuesday, October 23, 2012. 

That day is forever seared into my memories. 

Today's weather, reminds me of that day. Cold and grey. Drizzly. Gross.

Sometimes I wish I could forget it. But it's still clear in my mind. 

I know that I'll never understand why. I know I couldn't have done anything different. 

But I wish I had known you were going to do that. 

So I could spend more time with you that last day. 

Taken some better pictures of you. 

I just wish I had a chance to talk to you before. 

I wish I could comfort you. 

Hug you. 

Love you.

I'll always miss you.

Catch up!

Well, it's been quite awhile since I wrote. 

Things have been... up and down lately.

My husband got a job that was about an hour away from where we were living. 

We had to move. I hate moving. I love it, but hate it. 

I like the change. But I miss what I'm leaving. Not to mention the packing and unpacking.

Craziness! 

We had a few set backs but we're moved in. Not all the way unpacked though. 

Our house is tiny and I don't love it, so I've been procrastinating. 

BUT I realized I've had the wrong attitude about it and I'm coming around. 

I can't keep telling myself that it's only for a year or else I'll never make it a home. 

Even if it's for a year, that is a year of memories I can't get back. 

Even if this is only a small chapter until the next, big one, it's still a chapter. 

I don't want my boys to look back and remember this as just a house we stayed in for a time.

I want it to be a home where we had good memories. Even if its just a years worth. 

You never know when you won't be able to make new memories. 

Here's a few memories we've already made here;

We had to buy a new stove! It's the first one I've owned. The boys got to help put it together. :)

We had a REALLY nice day and the boys got to enjoy the water hose. 

Kenneth made a cake for my birthday! And it tasted pretty good! 

Daddy left his shaving cream out... this wasn't even all of it.

Our backyard has LOTS of worms to catch so we can go fishing!

I know this post was boring, but I just need to catch you all up real quick.

The six month mark of my brother's death is coming up on the 23rd. 

I can't believe it's been 6 months.

Miss you, Dolly.